If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18
We will never be able to control other people’s actions, words or responses, but we can control our own behaviors, reactions and the stories we tell ourselves. The truth about this life is that peace is not something we receive from others, but rather something we pursue and cultivate within ourselves. When we take responsibility for our part in relationships—without taking blame for other people’s choices—we discover that we have the power to transform pain into peace.
To live in harmony within all relationships, especially the difficult ones, we must become aware of our own role in them. We must notice the words we speak, the actions we take, the boundaries we establish or fail to establish, the meaning we assign and the energy we bring to them. When we become conscious of how we invest our time, space and energy into every relationship, we also become aware of how we contribute to its nature.
True harmony is not the absence of pain or difficulty, but rather choosing to create peace through our own choices. This doesn’t mean becoming a doormat or avoiding necessary boundaries, but rather learning to use the power of choice to discern who we continue to invest in and who we must lovingly distance ourselves from.
Our calling is to do everything in our power to maintain healthy relationships—by acting in accordance with love and kindness. It means offering compassion even when others haven’t earned it, setting boundaries with grace, and choosing peace over being right. When we focus on what depends on us rather than what we cannot control, we find freedom in knowing we’ve done our part.
