It is okay that you can’t make sense of how they treated you. Some actions aren’t meant to be understood, they are meant to be seen for what they are. And when someone shows you the limits of their heart, God isn’t asking you to decode it; he is asking you to pay attention.

Their behavior didn’t need a backstory or a justification. It revealed everything you weren’t willing to admit. It was proof. Proof that their character couldn’t hold the weight of your heart. You weren’t built for mind games, or half-truths, or emotional immaturity. You were built for honesty, and depth, and the kind of love that requires courage — the kind they were never willing to give.

Stop asking yourself what you did wrong. Stop trying to rationalize behavior that was rooted in their wounds, not your worth. God showed you who they were so you would finally stop trying to make a home out of a place that was never safe. What hurt you was not meant to stay. And what God brings to you next will make it painfully clear why he refused to let you settle for someone who could never meet you where you were meant to be loved.

Jacqueline Whitney is the author of All That You Deserve and Held: A 50 Day Devotional For Parents.