My wedding day is coming up soon, and I thought I would feel ready. I imagined I’d be filled with the most tender kind of joy, but if I’m being honest — I am so incredibly anxious right now.

There’s this heaviness in my soul that I didn’t expect, God. It feels like there are a thousand details taking residence in my mind, each one competing for attention, each one demanding perfection. But irrespective of the details — the colors, the guests, the seating charts, the schedule, I find myself worrying about deeper things. When I think about the vows I’m going to say, the lifelong commitment I’m about to make,  or the reality that this decision shapes the rest of my life, I know I should feel moved and inspired, but I just feel overwhelmed. 

God, I know love is beautiful and that marriage is sacred, but sometimes, in these quiet moments, there is this visceral fear that creeps into my heart. I feel the fear of messing this marriage up. I feel the fear of not being enough for my partner on the days they need me to carry them. I fear losing myself as I build this new life. All of these emotions feel selfish and difficult to even speak into the world, because everyone around me always talks about how this day is meant to be defined by excitement and certainty, by a hopefulness and a lightness that can’t be talked down.

And God, while I’m not uncertain about my love, I am uncertain about everything else. The pressure feels enormous at times. I want everything to be perfect, but I know it won’t be. I worry about letting people down, about letting myself down. I worry that my anxiety means something deeper — that maybe I’m not ready, or that maybe something is wrong with me because I’m anxious right now when I should feel lucky. 

I think what I need most in this moment is your peace, God. I don’t need the kind of superficial calmness that comes from having everything figured out, but rather, I need a deeper peace. A peace that says, “It’s okay to feel this way.” A peace that reminds me that you’re with me, even in the middle of the stress and the nerves and the uncertainty.

Please, God, help me to let go of the unrealistic expectations I’ve put on myself, and the ones I’ve allowed others to put on me. Remind me that this day, as beautiful as it will be, is just one day in the story of our lives. Remind me that our marriage will not be defined by centerpieces or the playlist, but by kindness, patience, forgiveness, and grace. Remind me of why we chose each other, and that real love isn’t about perfection — it’s about showing up every day, in the love you helped us to find, in the love you forged for us long before we even met.

God, help me to breathe in this season. Help me to find moments of quiet and clarity amid the chaos. When anxiety tries to steal my joy, remind me that the commitment I’m making isn’t a performance or a test. It’s simply just a promise to love, to choose, and to hold fast in your blessing. 

And most of all, God, help me to remember that you have seen our future, and that you hold it in gentle hands. Give me the courage to trust you with every detail, with every worry, with every fear, and with every hope. 

Thank you for this love, God.

Amen.