God,

This is harder than I thought it would be. Walking away from someone I still care about, and choosing silence when I want so badly to reach out — it just hurts. It’s a pain I wish I didn’t have to endure. I know deep in my heart that this is what’s best for me, and that no contact is important for my healing, and for my peace, but that doesn’t make it any easier, that doesn’t make it any less disorienting. There’s a part of me that misses them, that wonders if I made the right choice. There is a part of my soul that aches to hold onto what once was.

God, I really need you right now. I need your strength to stay rooted in this decision, even on the days when my emotions try to pull me back — especially on those days. I need your comfort when this heavy loneliness creeps in, when the memories resurface, when my heart feels raw and exposed. When I am on the verge of turning away from what I know I have to do, remind me why I had to make this choice. When I start to second-guess myself, when nostalgia clouds my judgment, I need you to bring me clarity. Let me see the truth — not just the highlight reel my heart wants to replay.

God, help me to not confuse missing them with needing them. Just because I care deeply for this human being does not mean that I have to stay. Just because I feel love in my heart for them, does not mean that this relationship was healthy or enduring. You see what I cannot see, God. You know the ways in which this attachment was holding me back, the ways in which it was breaking me, the ways in which I wasn’t fully stepping into the life you have always dreamed for me. So even though my heart is hurting, I trust you. I trust that this distance isn’t just a loss — it’s a step towards something better, something kinder, something that is an honest reflection of you. 

Fill the empty spaces they left behind, God. When all I want to do is to reach for them, help me to reach for you instead. When I want to hear their voice, let me hear yours louder. When I want to run back to what I think is my only safety, remind me that healing happens in staying away, in honouring the letting go, the distance. Surround me with people who love me well. Surround me with people who speak the truth. Surround me with people who help me stay strong when I feel weak. Surround me with an inner knowing, a self-assurance, that I am doing the right thing. 

And God, even from a distance, I pray that you work in their heart, just as you are working in mine. Heal what needs healing in them. Lead them where they need to go. I release them into your hands.

Even in this heartbreak, I choose to trust that you are leading me somewhere good, God. Somewhere peaceful. Somewhere whole. So I will keep walking, one step at a time, knowing you are walking with me.

Amen.