I’ve been trying so hard to get this right.  I’ve been trying to be good enough, to be holy enough, to be strong enough. I’ve tried to be the person everyone thinks a “good Christian” should be. I’ve worn myself out by keeping up appearances, by holding my doubts close, and by hiding my mistakes. I’m always afraid that someone will see through the cracks of my faith and realize that I’m still figuring it out along this journey, that I don’t have all the answers. 

It’s exhausting, God, pretending to have it all together when I feel like a mess inside. I know in my heart that you don’t expect perfection from me — but my soul struggles to believe it. Somehow, I’ve adopted the idea that I need to earn your love, that your acceptance of me hinges on how flawlessly I perform my faith. I find myself measuring my worth by my church attendance, or how many Bible verses I’ve memorized. But the truth is, my soul is aching beneath the weight of all these impossible standards. 

I’ve spent so long chasing perfection that I’ve forgotten how to just be myself with you. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to come to you with all of my messy, honest, and real thoughts — without rehearsing my prayers, without filtering what’s on my heart, without trying to impress you or prove something.

Please, God, remind me today that you love me exactly as I am. Remind me that your care doesn’t demand perfection, it simply asks for authenticity. Remind me that your arms are open not only when I’m polished and a mirror of your tenderness, but also when I’m broken, or unsure, or scared. 

Help me to let go of the pressure to perform, God. Help me stop comparing my journey in this faith to those around me, as though there’s some spiritual standard I need to meet in order to belong to you. Let me feel safe enough to share my doubts, my struggles, my questions, and my heart with you — without fear of rejection or judgment.

Teach me how to rest, God. Teach me to breathe in your presence and find peace there — no striving, no pretending, just leaning into the quiet certainty of your unconditional love. Remind me that being a Christian isn’t about performing perfectly, but rather, it’s about walking honestly beside you, trusting your compassion, and receiving your love in every imperfect moment.

I’m laying down my masks, God. I’m laying down my act. I’m laying down my fear of disappointing you. Help me to trust that I can never outrun your love. Help me to believe that you see all of me — the flaws, the doubts, the wounds, and you still call me yours.

Thank you for loving me beyond my perfectionism, God. Thank you for being patient with me when I forget the simplicity of your heart. Help me feel your grace deeply. Let it wash over me, until I finally remember that I am your child, forever and always, no matter what.

Amen.