God didn’t ask you to neglect yourself to save others, especially those who hurt you. It’s easy to get lost in trying to save someone you love or keep a connection going just because you believe in someone’s potential or think your presence in their life will eventually change them. The truth is, trying so hard to save others while you’re hurting is not support, it’s self-neglect. Loving someone doesn’t mean losing yourself in the process. God didn’t ask you to be their savior, faith doesn’t ask us to keep trying to fix what someone else broke, that’s not our job, that’s God’s job.
You can try to be there for someone during difficult times or love someone at their worst, but when it comes to a point where you’re doing all the heavy lifting and you’re abandoning your own needs, then this is where you need to draw the line. This is when you have to decide that you can only do so much; the rest is not up to you. It’s up to God. Only God can save someone, only God can truly heal or push them to pick up the broken pieces, because in trying to gather someone else’s broken pieces, we don’t realize we’re the ones bleeding.
Faith doesn’t ask you to keep rebuilding what someone else keeps tearing down. You can’t live in a home where you’re trying to keep everyone happy and everyone safe, but no one is looking after you. You can’t stay in a relationship where you’re the only one pouring, giving and compromising without eventually feeling that you don’t deserve any better or you’re not worthy of love. You can’t be friends with people who always expect you to accommodate their needs, but they never do the same for you. Neglecting yourself to please others often means that you’re not in touch with God or your faith, because if you were, you’d understand that true faith teaches balance, it teaches you to love others but not at the expense of your own soul.
Your healing begins when you realize that choosing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary and the ultimate act of faith. God doesn’t want you to stay where your heart is constantly being crushed. So don’t feel guilty for walking away or setting boundaries. Don’t feel bad that you chose yourself. You are not less loving for protecting your heart and you are not less faithful for stepping back from someone who keeps breaking you. Sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do is to stop saving those who keep destroying themselves and sometimes you have to say this is where I leave and trust God to handle the rest.
