Losing a parent is one of the most life-changing experiences a person can face, even if your relationship was complicated, strained or filled with distance and pain. The truth is no one prepares you for that kind of grief, it’s a different kind of heartbreak, the heartbreak that’s met with the painful reality that you will never see this person again, you will never get a second chance to fix things and you will never have that final conversation, give them that final hug or send them that final message.
The loss of a parent, regardless of how your relationship was with them, can stir up a whirlwind of emotions; guilt, confusion, anger and denial. It can also bring up a lot of unresolved feelings and unanswered questions, with the what-ifs lingering endlessly in your mind. The time you thought you had to figure things out suddenly slipped away in an instant, but that’s when you realize that God is your only anchor, your faith is the only thing that will get you through this and give you comfort and clarity. Only God can help you navigate the complexities of these emotions.
No one prepares you for the moment you walk into their apartment and see their plate still on the table, their clothes are still on the bed, their favorite book is still on their nightstand yet they’re no longer there. No one prepares you for the gut-wrenching moment when you have to sort through their closet and get hit by a flood of memories from clothes to photos to the watch they were wearing when you last saw them. No one prepares you for the heartbreaking moment when you realize you will never see them wearing any of those again, and the pictures will become the only physical reminders you have of them.
Your friends will be there to support you and make you stand on your feet again, your relatives will remind you of their quirks and funny memories, and everyone will share stories of love, warmth and joy but it’s after the noise has settled and people leave, that’s when it really sinks in, you won’t be able to talk to this person again.
You don’t even know if they can hear you or see you, you don’t even know if they’ve forgiven you, all you know is that goodbye feels like an unfinished conversation, like this wasn’t how the story was supposed to end. That’s the moment where God becomes your only savior, your only hope, because even though you don’t understand why it happened, why it had to be now or why you didn’t get enough time with them, you somehow know that this is the beginning of a new story, a better one for you.
God has a purpose for every kind of pain you endure, and loss is one of the hardest pills to swallow but it’s always part of a greater plan you can’t see yet, because God works in ways we will never understand, turning the biggest losses and heartbreaks into opportunities for growth, healing, redemption, change and ultimately, peace. The pain you’re carrying will transform you in ways you never imagined, you will find the strength you didn’t know you had, something beautiful will come out of your broken heart, you will find your way back to God or back to yourself. Maybe his plan doesn’t always make sense to you at the moment, but it always leads to something greater, paving the way for a new chapter and shaping you in ways you cannot yet comprehend.
So maybe you’re meant to finish your conversation with them, but not through spoken words, maybe you’re meant to finish it on your own, internally, guided by God’s hands. It’s about finding closure through faith, through forgiving yourself and others and through the courage to start over. This loss, as painful as it is, might be the catalyst for a profound shift in your life, a shift that changes your heart, your relationships, your journey and your life in ways you never expected.
