Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.
Proverbs 16:32
The hardest battles are often fought within ourselves. There is a counterintuitive nature to inner strength being greater than outer strength, although we constantly seek external power, conquest, or validation. When we focus on our inner world—developing self-control in small moments throughout the day—we slowly build our character for big challenges that we face outwardly, such as problems at work, challenges with relationships, or issues with our families.
The biggest challenge we face each day is not with people, circumstances, or external problems, but rather with our emotions, thoughts, and reactions to what is happening outside of us. We struggle to resist our temper, leading us to lash out in ways that divert from our essence of love. We get angry, frustrated, and impatient, resulting in words we shouldn’t have said or actions we know aren’t aligned with who we want to be. The moment we get quiet and look inside, we are able to connect with ourselves on a deeper level, allowing us to pause, slow down, become patient, and react in a way that is healthier and full of love.
As Proverbs 16:32 reminds us, it is ‘better one who controls his temper than one who takes a city.’ This way of being is not a one-time act but a daily practice that takes time to master—but each time we pause, we shift our way of being, and ultimately, the world around us. Conquering ourselves enables us to serve others better—rather than reacting, we let others be. Rather than forcing, we go with the flow. The long-term impact of emotional discipline exceeds any quick reactions—problems at work no longer feel as heavy, challenges with relationships feel more manageable, and issues with our families are filled with more compassion.
The next time a heavy emotion arises, pause, observe it, and notice it—then, act in a way that is different than how you normally act. In doing so, we not only shift the world within us but change the reality in which we live, to the point where nothing outside of us has power over our state of being. This proves that the greatest victories happen not on external battlefields but within our own hearts.
