Reflection

When something breaks down — a relationship, a season, a version of your life you were pouring all of your hope into, it’s so incredibly human to look for a reason. Most often, you look inward. You replay conversations. You examine every decision you had the courage to make. You wonder if a more foundational version of you could have prevented the unraveling, could have stopped the fracture. And slowly, without realizing it, you begin to carry blame like it’s a form of responsibility. like holding yourself accountable might bring closure, like punishing yourself might restore what’s already lost.

But blame is not the same thing as healing, and self-condemnation won’t fix what didn’t beat the odds — it will only break your spirit, it will only hollow you out.

God doesn’t ask you to carry shame for the aspects of your life you were still growing within, still learning within, still human within. His mercy doesn’t operate on the same terms your inner critic does. Where you see failure, he sees grace. Where you see too little, too late, he sees a heart still trying to love, still trying to believe, still trying to become.

It’s okay to acknowledge what you could have done differently, that is true humility. But it’s not okay to chain yourself to regret, it is not okay to rope yourself to this kind of shame. That is not conviction. 

Being worthy of God’s grace means that you do not have to keep paying for something that’s already been redeemed. You are not meant to carry the full weight of every broken thing. You are not solely responsible for outcomes that involved other people, or other choices, or other wounds. Let God hold the complexity of life within himself. Let him speak a better word than the one your shame keeps repeating. You were never meant to be the sacrifice — only the one who receives it.

Prayer

God, I’ve been blaming myself for what didn’t work. I’ve carried the weight of regret like it could somehow undo the past. But I don’t want to live anchored in that space anymore. Help me to receive your grace, not just in theory, but in the deepest places where I still feel like I failed you. Teach me to release the need to explain, to fix, to punish myself. You are not asking me to be perfect — you are inviting me to be free, and I want to walk in that freedom, God, starting today. 

Amen.