But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
Psalm 86:15
Reflection
You’ve been conditioned to believe that love is something you have to work for. For so many human beings, that belief began in childhood, or it was formed through relationships where affection was conditional — given only when you proved yourself, or were extraordinary. And so, over time, you started to equate love with effort. You started to believe you had to earn gentleness by being less messy-hearted, or less emotional, or less in need.
But God is not like the people who withheld their softness until you met their expectations. He doesn’t ration compassion based on how well you’re holding it all together. His tenderness isn’t something you earn — it’s something you inherit as you are.
God’s heart does not close itself off to you when you struggle. He is not disoriented by your exhaustion or distant in your need. He is not waiting for you to become more put-together before he calls for you. His nature is grace. His default is love.
The world may celebrate independence, may champion strength, but God honors surrender. The most courageous thing you can do is come to him as you are. When you are unsure, when you are undone, when you are unfinished, and let him meet you there.
There is a tenderness that God offers that your soul was made for. It is the kind of softness that doesn’t shame your humanity, that doesn’t discount your becoming, but rather, gently restores it. You do not have to hide. You do not have to prove anything. You do not have to earn the very thing he’s been preparing to give you all along. All you have to do is reach for it, and watch as he reaches back.
Prayer
God, I’ve spent so much of my life believing that I had to earn love by being stronger, or quieter, or more virtuous. Now, I’m tired of performing — I want to rest in the truth of who you are. Remind me that you are not cold or distant, but gracious and kind. Teach me how to receive the kind of empathy that isn’t conditional. Help me to trust that I don’t have to be more in order to be held by you. I am already loved. I am already yours. Amen.
